did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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