u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
