dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
