I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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