I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
