Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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