Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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