How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
