Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
