you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
