in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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