I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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