Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize