I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
