We won't sleep together?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
