Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
