that's an acceptable place to lick
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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