Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
