We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
