I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
