Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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