I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
