i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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