he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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