you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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