My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
