You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
