i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
