It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
