Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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