Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
