You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
