My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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