You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
