before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
