I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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