I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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