Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
