So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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