I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
