It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
