no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
