i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
