I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
