So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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