I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
