What a fucking waste of an outfit
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
