Where is the hickey?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
