How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she told me i tasted like america
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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