and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
