we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
