Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she looked like the before picture.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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